4 Questions for Dating a Recovering Alcoholic

New relationships can be fun and exciting. But dating a recovering alcoholic is often full of unexpected issues that you may not be ready to handle.

Addiction and recovery look different for every person. For this reason, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution for dating and sobriety. While a person in recovery is so much more complex than this one fact about their life, it is often still a crucial factor in their journey and identity, especially when it comes to forming romantic connections.

There are a lot of questions that naturally come up when you feel a spark with a person in recovery. More than anything, you need to be ready to be patient and supportive, especially when facing stress and emotional triggers together. When you start dating an alcoholic in recovery, this means you also have to be ready to take one day at a time.

Read on to learn four questions you should consider when dating a recovering alcoholic

What Do Alcohol Addiction and Recovery Look Like?

Alcohol use disorder, or alcohol addiction, has most recently come to be understood as a chronic mental health disorder. While there are genetic and situational factors that can impact a person’s struggle with the abuse of drugs or alcohol, there is no one specific reason why a person develops an addiction to alcohol.

The main symptoms of alcohol addiction are binge drinking or regular alcohol consumption that negatively impacts a person’s social and professional life, as well as their physical health.

While it is true that both the person struggling with alcohol abuse and their loved ones are affected by addiction, substance abuse does not mean a person is self-centered or weak. In fact, battling addiction is extremely isolating. And unfortunately, only the individual with an alcohol problem can choose to seek help.

Recovery is also far more complex and long-term than has been previously believed. For a long time, it was believed that sobriety was achieved as soon as a person stopped drinking. However, long-lasting addiction recovery requires a person first address what led to their substance abuse in the first place. Then they can consciously develop different life skills that they can turn to in place of alcohol in the future.

Even after a person has successfully completed an alcohol treatment program to help them with this process, no one can maintain sobriety alone. It is only with the support of their family and friends that people in recovery can stay in recovery.

What Does Your Support System Look Like?

Falling in love with a person who is in the process of addiction recovery can feel turbulent and unstable at times. It’s easy to feel guilty after you end up in a fight, especially if your partner calls their sponsor or goes to a support group meeting afterward. For this reason, it’s crucial you each have your own support system outside of your relationship.

Both people in a relationship are allowed to have bad days, and your partner’s sobriety is not your sole responsibility. However, dating someone in recovery also means you need to be prepared to help walk your partner through healthy coping techniques when the two of you face stress together.

Make sure they know where the nearest Alcoholics Anonymous meeting is near their home and whenever they travel. Help guarantee they have reliable transportation to get there whenever they need it.

In short, your grounded sense of self and self-worth beyond your relationship will greatly benefit both of you as your partner rediscovers who they are beyond their alcohol abuse. But it can also be easy for codependency to emerge as you support your partner in their recovery. The best thing you can do for them on a daily basis is to model self-love and encourage them to believe in themselves too.

How Do You Manage Your Emotions?

It’s normal for any human to experience a wide range of emotions throughout an average day. But life on the other side of alcohol addiction can make everything a person is feeling seem bigger and harder to manage. They have previously managed their emotions by drinking, and now they’re looking for better options to help them get through the day.

Part of alcohol treatment involves helping a person develop new outlets for high emotions. This can include daily meditation, an exercise routine, or even a focus on cooking at home and healthy eating habits.

One of the other concerns related to starting a relationship with a recovering alcoholic is that they can start replacing drug addiction with love addiction. This is because falling in love releases a lot of the same good-feeling chemicals that can be associated with abusing drugs or alcohol.

It’s okay to set boundaries with your partner around good and bad emoting. You are allowed to hold your partner accountable by giving your partner feedback about their emotional expression and how their words and actions are impacting those around them.

When you work as a mirror while dating a recovering addict, they can better learn how to recognize their bad habits and more readily establish healthy ones. Together, you can end the negative self-talk and destructive behaviors that often lead to addiction in the first place.

What Are Relationship Deal-Breakers?

Especially if a person is in their first year of recovery, the likelihood of relapse is high. This doesn’t mean either of you has failed, but it is important that both of you talk through potential deal-breakers in your relationship.

Do you want to keep dating even as your partner has to commit their time and energy to recovery in different treatment programs? Do you have the time and energy in your own life to offer the support and accountability your partner needs? What plans can you put in place to address potential triggers and moments of relapse in the future?

Dating a person invested in sober living means you are invested in their success. But it’s also okay to know how much you can handle. That’s why it’s crucial to talk with your partner early in your relationship about their dependence on you and the level of support you’re willing to give. Be prepared for lines to be crossed, and come up with a plan together on how you want to deal with this.

The Skypoint Recovery Difference

If you or your loved one are in need of substance abuse recovery in Akron, Ohio, it’s never too late to ask for help. Our location may be in one of the largest cities in the state of Ohio, but you’ll be surprised to find Skypoint Recovery offers you everything you need to get back on your feet.

At Skypoint Recovery, we will help you get away from the noise and chaos of your daily life so you can focus on your individual mental and physical needs. Our main goal of Skypoint Recovery substance abuse treatment is to help you take control of your life again!

Contact Skypoint Recovery today to learn how we can best help support you on your journey toward rehabilitation.