There are a lot of physical symptoms associated with substance addiction. It can start with a noticeable twitch, as a person struggling with drug abuse cannot function normally until they get their next fix. But too often, we forget to discuss the emotional toll that substance use disorders can take on both an individual’s life and the lives of their loved ones. This is especially true if they are in a committed romantic relationship.
One in seven couples facing separation or divorce is also facing the impact of addiction in their relationship. Many times this is because the person struggling with substance abuse does not get the help they need, and therefore their addiction problem spirals until it is unsafe to live witht hem. In other instances, this is because the partner struggling with addiction comes to depend too heavily on the other person in the relationship.
While these stories of chaos and heartbreak are far more common than you think, this doesn’t have to be the ending for you and your spouse. With the right addiction treatment, anyone can achieve long-term sobriety and maintain healthy relationships with others in their lives.
Read on to learn about how to help your partner struggling with addiction—and how they can begin the road to recovery today.
What Does Addiction Look Like?
Since 2015, over 10% of Americans have admitted to struggling with the illicit use of drugs or alcohol, and unfortunately, this number is only on the rise. This can include behaviors such as the recreational use of illegal drugs or regular binge drinking.
But what is the line between social substance use and drug addiction? Recent research has discovered that substance abuse is a chronic mental health disorder, which means there are both physical and psychological symptoms associated with the diagnosis. Genetic factors can also play into a person’s unique battle with addiction.
The most obvious signs of addiction begin when an individual’s personal and professional life is affected by their need for their preferred substance. This can involve being distracted at work, missing major family appointments, or lying about their location and how they’re spending their time or money to hide their substance use. When a person can no longer participate in their daily routine without getting another fix, it is important to seek professional help.
The disease of addiction can have similar warning signs for a wide variety of people, but ultimately substance abuse looks different for each person. No matter what, it’s important for friends and family members to remember that addiction is an isolating battle. And unfortunately, only the actively addicted individual can seek the help they need to begin recovery.
How Will Substance Abuse Impact My Marriage?
There are a wide variety of reasons why a person might first begin to struggle with substance abuse. Many studies have proven that marital unhappiness and alcohol addiction are heavily linked. When someone feels they have no outlet for their relationship issues, they might turn to substance use to numb their feelings of hurt or depression.
Substance abuse is a slippery slope, which is why it is critical to seek help from a trusted healthcare provider or professional addiction specialist at the earliest signs of a problem in your relationship. It’s never too early to set boundaries with your partner and develop healthy lines of communication about your emotions with each other.
Because addiction is a mental health disorder, it affects a person’s ability to problem-solve and regulate their emotions. Spending time with an addicted spouse can therefore feel tense and uncomfortable. Without the right professional support, verbal communication can become strained, and anger can run at the forefront for both partners involved.
The potential for domestic violence, either verbal or physical abuse, is much higher for individuals struggling with drug and alcohol addiction, and even the slightest threat should be taken very seriously. Many addiction treatment options will include anger management and trauma-informed therapy options, which can help a struggling addict learn crucial interpersonal skills for future relationships.
However, if you are concerned about the safety of yourself or your family, you should not hesitate to involve legal authorities as needed.
Addiction Recovery and Codependency
Even if your spouse chooses to commit to addiction treatment and recovery, it’s still important to be self-aware about your own emotions and actions in the relationship. Unfortunately, codependent relationships are far too common in couples who are dealing with substance abuse.
Codependency can take several forms in response to drug addiction. This might look like making excuses for a partner’s behavior to others, helping a partner stay in denial about their problem, or even putting all the pressure on yourself to save your partner from their addiction.
If codependency remains unaddressed in a recovering addict’s life, this can cause them to lose all of their forward motion toward recovery. Their spouse is saying out loud that they don’t have an issue with addiction, so therefore they have no reason to believe it themselves.
Setting healthy boundaries around good and bad behavior in your relationship can be the first step toward helping your loved one seek rehabilitation. Ask trusted family friends to help point out negative behavior when they see it. And even after they return home from substance abuse treatment, you can encourage them to attend support groups like Al Anon outside of your home.
Addicted Spouse Dos and Don’ts
Here are the top 6 dos and don’ts to help your addicted spouse with their substance abuse:
Do Learn About Addiction
It’s easy to blame yourself for your partner’s struggle with addiction if you don’t understand it. This can lead to feeling like you don’t matter or that your spouse loves their preferred substance more than you.
Educating yourself about addiction will help you understand the physical and psychological pull of cravings and how even a person’s brain chemistry is altered when they battle substance abuse. Talk to a professional addiction specialist or mental health provider for resources to help you with this process.
Do Practice Self-Care
Addiction can take up a lot of room in a relationship. But that doesn’t mean your emotions are invalid. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t have anything left to give in supporting your spouse’s battle with substance use.
Be open and honest with close friends who you can trust with your family’s struggle. Ask for someone to watch the kids one night so you can take some alone time. And as you search for resources to help your partner choose recovery, make sure to also look for support groups or a potential therapist you can talk to as well.
Do Show Your Support
There are a wide variety of ways you can show up for your partner as they do the hard work of addiction treatment and sober living.
First, make sure to be open to any group therapy options you can attend as they begin recovery. Many substance abuse treatment centers will offer family therapy as a safe space to have hard conversations with your partner. Some recovery centers even encourage addicts to commit to a specific diet and exercise plan, which you can join in on. You can also offer to attend open 12-step meetings or read recovery-focused literature once they have returned home.
Don’t Lie For Your Spouse
As soon as you start to see any warning signs of substance use in your spouse, you need to practice saying the hard truth out loud.
Lying to friends or employers to hide your partner’s withdrawal symptoms doesn’t hold them accountable for their actions. The sooner you encourage them to take responsibility for their decisions, the sooner they can commit to sobriety.
Don’t Join Them in Their Substance Use
It may seem like a logical conclusion to join your partner in their substance use. Maybe you think this would be supportive, or you can model what self-control looks like. However, this risks two negative outcomes.
First, this encourages your spouse’s addictive habits as they develop. Second, you could end up struggling with your addiction battle without meaning to.
Don’t Expect Perfection
Both a struggle with addiction and committed sober living will change your family forever. Your life and your relationship with your spouse will never be the same as it was before they struggled with substance abuse.
Remember the road ahead for you and your partner isn’t going to be easy. But you can learn and grow into a newer, healthier unit together, if you both commit to doing the work.
The Skypoint Recovery Difference
At Skypoint Recovery Ohio, we will help you escape the noise and chaos of your daily life so you can focus on your individual mental and physical needs. Our main goal of Skypoint Recovery substance abuse treatment is to help you experience all the benefits of sobriety and develop daily practices to help you choose a drug-free life. We guarantee you get the individualized treatment you need to reclaim your desired healthy life.
Contact Skypoint Recovery today to learn how we can best help support you on your journey toward rehabilitation.